War for the Planet of the Apes Review

A cinematic universe that doesn’t monkey around.

wftpota 1

Director: Matt Reeves

Distributor: 20th Century Fox

Rating: PG-13

US Release: July 14, 2017

The first apes movie came out in 1968, and since then there have been countless sequels, prequels, spinoffs, tv shows, and even a cartoon. In 2011, however, the brand was revitalized with Rise of the Planet of the Apes, a new interpretation of the series that maintained the political and social commentary that so prominently influenced the original film, and added a unique narratively powerful story of the young, hyperintelligent ape, Caesar. While the first of this new trilogy was relatively underwhelming, this new cinematic world has proved one of the most consistently entertaining, and while Marvel continuously puts forth good, if never great, content, DC…tries, I guess, and everything else from King Kong to Dracula to the Transformers try to catch up on this cinematic universe trend, our apes series is left almost entirely out of the discussion between its releases, something that utterly confounds me. Steadily improving in quality and craftsmanship, War for the Planet of the Apes is the best blockbuster of 2017 so far, and proves that studio universes can be more than pandering money making machines.

Being, for all intents and purposes, the third of its mostly self-contained prequel trilogy, War both thrives by learning from the mistakes of its predecessors and falls flat from the usual hinderances of the third film in a trilogy. The good is clear off the bat; while Rise suffered from lazy set design, quickly-outdated effects, and mediocre-at-best performances from the human cast, War has, after stumbling but largely improving its way through Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, the second of the three, mastered the elements it had trouble grasping on its first and second outings.

wftpota 2

The first thing noticeably spectacular in War is the cinematography. Michael Seresin, the cinematographer for the project who took over for Andrew Lesnie after Rise, was allowed to stretch his filmmaking muscles from the first shot, a haunting image of the human soldiers called from the north in Dawn looking for the apes in the woods, where Caesar is supposedly in command of the combat that has purveyed for the two years since the previous filmThe soldiers fan out in gorgeous fashion, firing at the apes and sparking their rebuttal attack from the forest fog, initiating the first action set piece, which throws bodies around with dark reverence, reminding us with every casualty how human these perishing animals have become. The violence is not fun; as beautiful as the filmmakers have made it, there is a harrowing sense of helplessness as apes and humans alike are slaughtered on the luscious jungle battlefield.

The story here, and the weight behind it, is largely from the previous films, recapped in a handy and stylistic prelude of text before the soldiers enter the frame. However, the world, and the emotion behind every new character, is not tied to any franchise. Rather, words etched into every soldiers helmet breath life into their prejudice, and the unique scarring on the fantastically designed costumes and props show a war torn civilization clawing for survival. Much like George Miller’s subtextual lore underlying Mad Max: Fury Road, Matt Reeves, the director of War, has crafted an intense story not only off the back of the prior two films, but in the subtleties of every frame of this one. The shock alone of seeing a gorilla aiding a human in reloading, and the quick and not at all clunky explanation that they have sold their identities to become nominal “donkeys” (as in Kong), branded uniquely to distinguish them from their ape-loyal brethren and degrade them, is a fantastic example of how Reeves is clearly aware of the attachment the audience has to the lore and shows in the first minute of the film that he is fully prepared to subvert our expectations and demonstrate the true toll that a war can take. This corruption of the apes also further blurs the lines between good and evil, accentuating the damage fear and anger can do.

The greatest commentary and enemy painted by Reeves is of the aforementioned fear. When the fighting has died down and only Red, the main donkey ape, Preacher, a soldier played by Gabriel Chavarria, and a handful of other humans remain, they are taken into the apes’ base and Caesar is seen for the first time. His introduction, however, is in no way plain. Rather, we are walked through the ravaged ape outpost through his eyes, seeing each individually rendered ape in its unique personality reach out for assurance in a disturbingly gorgeous sequence, and only then is the protagonist revealed, aged and weathered beyond his years by the war he has led and the apes we have just seen for which he feels a deep responsibility.

wftpota 3.jpg

Caesar then meets with his captives, and the humans bait their enemy commander by calling him an animal, to which he solemnly recounts that he killed the ape responsible for the war, Koba, and now he fights only to protect apes. This is played to be hypocritical as Red, the “donkey” ape, is working for the humans, but Caesar declares Red to be afraid of what Caesar will do to him and still a supporter of Koba, prompting jeers from the enemy gorilla and inciting fear and conflict upon on Winter’s, a cool-looking albino gorilla accompanying Caesar during the interrogation, demeanor. The pain we see here in Andy Serkis’s face as Caesar, to see one of his own betray so completely the values he cherishes, is an epic tale within itself…but Serkis’s performance is something we will talk about later.

Ordering Winter to take Red outside, Caesar ties up the humans and sends them back to the colonel, explaining to his old friend Maurice the orangutang, played with a sincere warmth and subtextual kindness by Karin Konoval, that the mercy would be received as a message that, if given the woods, the apes would happily cede the humans their land and the fighting could stop. Before the group can get any respite, however, screeches are heard and Winter appears, seemingly injured, to report Red’s escape. Taking the occurrence in strides, Caesar collects himself and the group pushes on.

Moving through the woods in a montage shot, again, beautifully, passing by more graffiti and scarred flora that fleshes out the world the characters inhabit, the group soon arrives at a waterfall, where they gain some recess from the action. Soon after, Caesar’s son Blue Eyes, played by Max Lloyd-Jones, and Rocket, Terry Notary’s strong ape from Rise, return from a scouting mission and report that they have found a sanctuary for the apes beyond the mountains to which they must migrate. Winter here seems severely intent on leaving quickly, before nightfall, but, at a look from Caesar, Serkis’s immense presence commanding obedience, falls quiet but visibly upset at the agreed plan to wait and organize before the journey. During our introduction to the apes’ hideout we meet the rest of Caesar’s family, Cornelia, his wife played by Judy Greer, and Cornelius, his son played by Devyn Dalton, as well as his son’s lover, Lake, a new ape played by Sara Canning. The love and connection relayed so subtly through the animation and performances here is incredible, as even without the prior two films setup, we instantly understand the power of the bond these apes share, helped in no small order by Serkis’s incredible facial movement…something I’ll talk more about later.

For the opening scenes of the film, the camera is wide and sweeping, suggesting the large-scale epic of conflict and migration which the apes are faced with. The type of shots shift with the tone of the movie, a clever immersion device Reeves used, however, and the first major shift comes the night after Blue Eyes’s return. Awoken by the green glow of machine guns, Caesar, leaving Blue Eyes to protect his family, must, in a scene so tense it rivals any horror film we have seen so far this year, sneak through his home and alert the guards of the humans’ presence. Despite one or two fake-outs, it seems as if the apes will be safe, thanks to the patrols, but Caesar soon hears on one of the soldier’s communication devices that, “Kong is dead,” changing everything.

Rushing back to his resting place, fearing the worst, we first meet Woody Harrelson as the colonel, revealed in a terrifying mask of face-paint with madness in his eyes, a petrifying and mysterious introduction to the merciless antagonist. We are then shown the corpses of both Blue Eyes and Cornelia, enraging Caesar who, despite being shot at, leaps at the colonel, who escapes by helicopter after cutting the rope on which Caesar pursues him, casting the ape down into the waterfall below. Here, Serkis demonstrates a deep shift of Caesar’s priorities and morals in only his facial expression, as hatred blossoms in his sole and the incredible actor portrays it with a necessary nuance…something we’ll see more of throughout the film.

wftpota 4.jpg

After the attack, the apes prepare to leave their base and travel to the safe land discovered by Caesar’s late son, shot to clearly emulate refugees suffering from persecution and seeking a safe place to rest in the modern world. This, while leaving little room for interpretation, supports expertly the theme of fear running through the movie, tackling specifically the fear of peoples who seek only asylum and, in turn, act negatively, largely out of their own fear, an extremely topical discussion. Caesar, however, reveals he will not be accompanying his subjects; he plans to hunt down the colonel and murder him in cold blooded revenge.

This marks the genesis of Caesar’s fall into fear, as he shows that he, too, can succumb to the anger it espouses, like Koba before him. The main three followers, Maurice, Rocket, and Luca the gorilla, most distinct in their design and present in the franchise since Rise, pursue their leader, however, refusing to allow him to carry out his quest alone. The rest of the first act plays out with a very similar feel to Logan, as it tightens its shots and focuses on the more personal hunt for the colonel. They come upon an abandoned settlement and kill a man who attempts to attack the apes, revealing the lack of mercy growing within Caesar’s heart through the sheer disgust Serkis portrays for his victim. While searching the camp, the group finds the first major new protagonist, a young girl named Nova.

Nova is found with steaks of blood dripping from her nose, and a doll marked by two distinct red dots next to her on the bed, later revealed to be the symbol for infected humans. The audience at this point is well cognizant of the simian flu that, while making apes smarter, wiped out the majority of humanity, and it becomes clear that some mutated form is responsible for the girl being unable to speak and being left behind by any humans, save the one Caesar killed. While Caesar, in his blind rage, is prepared to leave Nova behind, Maurice insists they keep they girl with them. The moment in which Maurice first interacts with the girl deserves special mention, as she struggles to speak and is aided by Maurice’s grunts and subtle noises, a sterling example of the film’s phenomenal sound design and character building.

The group continues on, Caesar stealing dirty looks at the girl as he travels, until they come across a military base housing Winter who, it is revealed, betray Caesar’s location to Red in order to guarantee some sanctuary as a “donkey”. Winter reveals that the colonel has gone to the Canadian border to meet with a larger human army, however, and that the rest of them will leave the next morning. Killing Winter, the group awaits the next day by a campfire, in which Caesar envisions Koba, a hauntingly realistic rendering of a bloodied and scarred murdered comrade, before being awakened by Nova and Maurice so the group can follow the migrating soldiers.

Traveling ever northward, the crew misplaces their targets when they arrive deep in a snowy wilderness, stopping at a tower to survey the landscape after finding three mortally wounded humans all with blood from their nose and unable to speak, much like Nova, who are also marked by the two dots found on Nova’s doll and who the apes kill to save from their suffering. While the apes climb an abandoned radio tower, Nova is left on a horse below, and is soon approached by a shadowy figure concealed by human clothes. Stealing a gun, a horse, and binoculars, the figure escapes, pursued by our heroes. Chased back to a ski lodge, the interior of which is dressed to spectacularly resemble a palace of ice, it quickly comes to light that the mystery man is in fact an old, balding ape, played by Steve Zahn. Over the course of the next few scenes, this ape is revealed to go by the name, “Bad Ape,” a result of his tragic background in a zoo from which he, and none of his brethren, has escaped and survived.

In a movie that until this point has been so intensely tragic and driven by fear and revenge, it is largely refreshing to meet Zahn’s Bad Ape. The character design, while impeccably realistic, like the rest of the films animation, is charming and cute, and while the virus that afflicts the girl and wiped out the human race has made him smarter, he has not interacted with the other apes who mostly speak in sign language, meaning he can only communicate through broken speech, and can therefor only communicate through Caesar and other hyper-intelligent characters who have learned to talk. Bad Ape, like Nova’s endearing struggle to persevere and communicate through her illness, is a ray of bright levity in the bleak War universe, though it is not without its pitfalls. While Nova highlights Reeve’s ability to extract genuine connection with silent, alien characters through her interaction with the apes, Bad Ape talks incessantly, and it begins to grate the nerves shortly after his introduction. One particular set of scenes stand out in my mind to highlight the good and bad about the character. While around a fire, Bad Ape insists the group not go to a “human zoo” he discovered, which Caesar deduces is a military compound. While having the would-be tedious discussion, Bad Ape has a charming back and forth with Nova who keeps trying to play with an old Chevrolet Nova ornament (later prompting Maurice to grant the child the name.) While this interaction is heartwarming and laugh inducing, it is juxtaposed with jarring slapstick, like Bad Ape running offscreen to retrieve something only to fall with a crash and sheepishly declare, “I’m ok,” a line stereotypical to formulaic, PG-rated, cash-in comedies.

This isn’t to say the character is without dramatic weight. Reeves perfectly infuses heart into the ape during a conversation with Caesar, in which Bad Ape notices that Caesar treats Nova with a reverence that suggests Caesar has lost a child of his own. After recounting that he, too, has lost children and family to the humans, Bad Ape agrees to help hunt the colonel. This discussion also highlights again not only Serkis’s gut-wrenching acting…which will come up again later…but the humanity of the effects, which, in an effort to cut down on redundancies, I will state now are ostensibly the best I have ever seen in a film. What once would have been an awkward and quickly dated slog of mis-rendered uncanny valley beasts fit only to induce headaches outside of 3D (see Avatar), CGI has become something seemingly more tangible than puppets, and the emotion in the eyes and wrinkles of the beasts’ faces is more than many human actors can hope to conjure, highlighting both the wonders of this films budgetary priorities and the acting ability of the leads. While this technological wonderment is astounding, however, the most impressive thing is that you begin to forget that it is so amazing, as the all-but-real apes seem remarkably usual and all but the most intently critical forget that much of these scenes exist only in a room painted green. I normally wouldn’t comment too much on effects, as technology advances so rapidly that it is often a product of the time in which the movie is viewed and not representative of the film itself, but these really are something special.

wftpota 5.png

The following day, the group heads out, but not before Nova and Luca share a spectacularly sweet moment, with Nova reaching for flowers from a tree and Luca aiding her, placing a blossom in her hair. The scene is eye-wateringly beautiful and again conveys genuine connection wordlessly.

The group arrives at the military compound, but soon discovers that the rest of the apes, who were supposed to have made it to the sanctuary discovered by Blue Eyes, have been captured and are being held prisoner, some strung up on crucifixion-like x’s as warnings and most in giant outdoor cages. While scouting the perimeter, Caesar is attacked, and Luca sacrifices himself to protect his leader, his death marked sentimentally by Nova placing her flower on his ear. Deciding to storm the castle and leave Rocket, Maurice, Nova, and Bad Ape outside, Caesar marches up to the gates with a shotgun after untying a crucified ape who tells him of the group’s imprisonment, but is quickly captured by Red.

The movie takes a dramatic shift at this point, as the revenge-driven hunt for the colonel fades away, and the task becomes one of grand exodus, the prison taking on the role of antagonist over Harrelson after a mildly-annoying, over the top speech to Caesar, who is put in the mass cage. Subsequently, Reeves changes the way he shoots the film, highlighting again his utilization of photography to accentuate the intended scale of scenes, which now hold a more sweeping and broad significance, and a goal not of retribution, but of the survival of a species. This also shifts the task of the movie going forward, which becomes, superficially, to show escape from the prison, providing a straightforward goal, reminiscent again of Fury Road in its simplistic grander design but intensely personal smaller moments, as the goal, being fully laid out, can be cast into the background to make room for moving character moments.

One of these incredible moments comes the day after Caesar’s capture. The apes are being forced to build a wall around defensive systems, though they have not been given food or water in the three days since their seizure, and some of the workers are unable to perform their tasks due to weakness. This prompts Caesar to stand up to the colonel, inciting the cessation of work from the rest of his kin. Shooting outright the ape who could not perform the work, the colonel places his gun against Caesar’s forehead and begins to count to five, though Caesar simply stares him down with immense bravado until Lake spurs the rest of the apes into working to save their leader’s life. The intensity in this confrontation, from both the colonel about to shoot Caesar and Serkis’s portrayal of the hopeless bravery conjured in his seemingly final hour, is tangible, and a lasting, terrifying image. The apes resuming their work, and other scenes involving large numbers of onscreen characters, also conjure lasting images, as the impressive attention to detail, even with immense amounts of things happening on screen, calls grand musicals of the golden era of Hollywood into mind.

This camera work is impressive, and the momentary editing is also astoundingly engaging, meaning individual shots and action flow incredibly smoothly and cuts are almost unnoticeable, something that is to be revered in a world that can release something as blatantly against the principles of editing as…Suicide Squad…

Problems begin to arise, however, when one looks at the structural editing. While scenes like the wall building standoff are terrifyingly intense, they are followed up by the apes outside who consist largely of comic relief characters. While some of their interactions provide useful levity, and the passages beneath the camp they explore, which were used to escape the compound by those who had Nova’s disease, are rich with story hidden in graffiti and other set design choices, the over-the-top and exponentially obnoxious behavior of Bad Ape starts to negatively effect the film’s proceedings. Furthermore, while I largely took no issue with this part of the film, many I have spoken to have found that the tonally dissonant scenes placed together detracted from the flow of the plot, creating a slogging effect during the second act instead of the intended sensation of being trapped by the prison along with our heroes.

The second act’s other major problem is with Woody Harrelson as Colonel McCullough. While the character was introduced as a ghostly monster of a man, and the film bred fear for him, as his first few words were only whispered over telecom devices with soldiers, his introductory monologue in the prison when Caesar is captured and a subsequent monologue he delivers after “crucifying” Caesar in the middle of the camp, take a much more cartoonish turn. While the first of these speeches seems intentionally larger than life, meant to accentuate his boatful perceptions of his ape-hating cause, it becomes clear in his second, more exposition-full monologue that there will be no payoff to this characterization and he is simply an unremarkably-written villain. Cutting Caesar down and bringing him to his office with Red and Preacher, who always seem to witness the inhumanity of the colonel and humanity of Caesar from the background, be it during the wall building sequence or monologues such as this one, McCullough describes the background story of the humans that has been inferred throughout the picture.

 

wftpota 6

The simian flu, he explains, has mutated, no longer killing its victims but rendering them primitive in their actions and thinking, something we have seen in Nova and the injured humans in the snow. The colonel, we are told, had a son who was one of the first to contract this new strain, and he, along with all who cared for him, also caught the virus, necessitating their murder at the hands of McCullough. The colonel’s subsequent harsh treatment of the infected, however, increasing exponentially in severity, drew the attention of the rest of the human army, which, it is revealed in a genuinely unnerving twist, is the threat the apes are building a wall to defend against, as their disapproval for McCullough, and his split from their command, has necessitated violent quelling of his cause. While this is a tragic story, and the impending attack provides an exciting push to escape the prison quickly, the exposition-heavy delivery and Harrelson’s over-the-top evil draw the audience out of the scene, a travesty considering the struggle espoused within Caesar when the hypocrisy of calling the colonel merciless is pointed out, considering Caesar’s plan to murder him in blind rage.

Tied back up, Caesar, after a not-at-all subtle neo-nazi parodying morning ritual in which McCullough literally shaves his head before his soldiers, witnesses his apes receiving food and water, a scene of levity that does not rely on slapstick and goofy yelling, unlike the apes outside the camp, who, tangentially, have found routes underground to aid in escape. Caesar is given only a bucket of water dumped on his head, a critical move considering the harsh winter conditions of the camp. Still, he is thanked by Lake, and he is strong enough to survive until being cut down and moved into a private cage from which he is released during the day to work.  While still hanging, however, he is met again by a vision of Koba, this time reminding us of the Colonels words and questioning Caesar’s remaining morality, which is revealed to be a hallucination projected onto Red, there to cut him down, but not before Caesar questions if he really thinks the colonel will save him, and what is really left of him to save.

While in his new cage, Caesar is visited by Nova, who walks into the camp seemingly unnoticed, a jarring trend displayed by the soldiers to, when convenient to the script, not notice anything going on around them. She leaves with him her doll, but is unable to leave the camp, as the soldiers have snapped back to competency, requiring Rocket to turn himself into the prison to create a distraction for her to run back to Bad Ape and Maurice, conveniently and unrealistically close to but still beyond the prison gates.

The escape occurs relatively quickly after this sacrifice, as Rocket communicates with Lake and Caesar to organize an escape through the tunnels found by the outside group, with minor hinderances along the way, and one too many dumb moments from Bad Ape, who, despite this, still proves to have some cute endearment left, and while the colonel gets hold of the doll, the apes are almost completely evacuated by the time the human army attacks. It is important to note how unrealistic and incongruous with the bleak and grounded nature of most of the film this is, as a grand heist moving an entire race to freedom through a hole in the ground occurs unnoticed in around ten minutes, almost as if a studio needed a happy ending to come in under three hours.

So begins the big final battle, what all of the film has been leading to, but when the alarms sound, the apes have already left the prison, all but Caesar and the donkeys remaining. Caesar laments to Rocket that killing the colonel has become his “Koba”, as his hate has consumed him too much to return to the larger group, so while, in an incredibly epic collection of shots, the war between the colonel’s army and the rest of the humans lights up the scenery, Caesar climbs to the colonel’s office. When he reaches the colonel, however, it is revealed that he has been infected by the doll and completely lost his mind, leading him to actively take the gun held by Caesar and hold the barrel against his head. While this could easily be a stereotypical scene of a man who cannot live with what he has become, Harrelson’s wordless portrayal of insanity and Caesar’s immense conflict between killing the now-primitive creature and sparring him like he knows is ultimately right proves a captivating moment, aided immensely, like so many other scenes, by Serkis’s awe-inspiring performance. In the end, Caesar leaves the gun by McCullough, who picks it up and murders himself.

The war, however, still rages on, and, after narrowly escaping some soldiers who have come to find the missing-in-action colonel, Caesar takes a belt of grenades and heads to destroy a massive gas tank behind the wall from which the once-colonel led human soldiers fire. The first wave of their attackers having been repelled, the gunmen atop it now fire at the apes beyond trying to leave the battleground, sparking some slight second thoughts in the eyes of Red, noticeably disturbed by the massacre. Before he can spark an explosion, however, Caesar’s grenade is shot from his hand by Preacher, who we have already been informed is the sharpest shooter in the colonel’s army. Preacher, however, does not immediately finish Caesar off, fantastic payoff for the apprehension he has held subtly in his eyes throughout the examples of the colonel’s brutality he has witnessed and the examples of the apes’ profound sentience that have, throughout the film, noticeably moved him. Before he has the chance to shoot Caesar, however, which, it appears, he will ultimately do, Red fires at him from the wall, killing him, after being abused and shouted at to his breaking point. While this prompts the murder of Red, making him another of the film’s deeply moving sacrificial characters, it buys Caesar the time to destroy the gas tank, setting off a chain of explosions that eventually level the prison.

wftpota 7.jpg

While the rest of the apes have made it to an overlooking cliff, Caesar is still relatively close, and impaled by Preacher’s first shot of an arrow, when the rest of the human army arrives, celebrating their victory against the colonel before seeing Caesar. Before they can attack, however, a massive avalanche, triggered by the explosions, clears the valley of all but the apes, who take shelter in the trees, and while it is a painfully lucky, “deus ex machina,” it does provide a satisfying image of the valley wiped clean for the planet’s ape-led future.

From here, the apes take one final pilgrimage to the desert land promised by Blue Eyes, reminiscent, like Caesar’s son Cornelius and Nova, of the 1968 film, and Caesar and Maurice have on final discussion on the apes’ legacy before Caesar, finally home for the first time since his window in Rise, assured by the first spoken words of Maurice that he will be remembered and known by all, especially his surviving son, dies in peace.

A beautiful, hopeful, and heartwarming ending is perfectly uplifting for the bleak and painful film that, ultimately, is about overcoming personal fear and allowing oneself to find the virtue of hardship and forgive those who have roused hate and cowardice in the soul. While it suffered from Bad Ape’s frequent dips from appreciated comic relief to Jar Jar Binks-esque kid-friendly mascot territory, some jarring structural editing, and one too many conveniences to move the plot forward, the movie perfectly ended, and began, the saga of the apes, and respectfully retired Caesar, who we have come to deeply love through the films, in a surprisingly dignified way.

After, of course, he was played magnificently by Andy Serkis. Perhaps an odd way to end the review, I have been putting off talking about his performance only because it is hard to describe to those unfamiliar with how motion capture works. While many say things like Serkis is little more than a voice actor, the truth is that the CGI does less to improve his performance and actually provides a barrier through which he must, with overwhelming success, act. The raw emotion conveyed by Serkis is incredible, moving, and terrifying, stealing absolutely every scene and commanding reverence from both the audience and the characters. While he in no way is a saving grace or an anomaly, for this entire film is fantastically made and every actor performs admirably, his performance specifically is beyond Oscar-worthy, and, as it is what will surely stay with me the longest about this piece, it is only fitting that I leave you with the thought of his immense talent. Like much of this film’s immense beauty and fine craftsmanship, it must be seen to believe, and while it is not quite the perfect movie, it is by far the most gorgeously crafted franchise film ever delivered.

9/10

Amazing

Review Schedule Update

10-insane-facts-you-probably-didn-t-know-about-heath-ledger-s-joker1

Hello again, everyone! Thank you so much for checking out my first two reviews and the positive response I’ve received to this blog. This is just a quick update now that I have a clearer idea of what I want to do with Personal Space, and to let you all know what to expect going forward.

Firstly, there will be a new review posted every Tuesday and Thursday, barring any extraneous circumstances. Ideally, the review posted on Tuesday will be for whatever big release occurred the previous Friday, e.g. this upcoming Tuesday’s review of War for the Planet of the Apes, and the subsequent Thursday’s review will be for an already released or smaller film, e.g. this upcoming Thursday’s review of Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Some weeks I will have to refrain from posting for personal reasons, but I will almost always be able to post an update if this is the case. If nothing notable was released in a week, or I can’t afford to pay for two 3D movies, I will cover two movies that are more readily available. Adversely, some weeks will have two new movie reviews, e.g. the release week of both Valerian and Dunkirk, both of which I will attempt to see as soon as possible.

Outside of this release schedule, bonus reviews may be posted from time to time, and updates on my life in relation to this blog will be posted occasionally. Other than reviews, there are a few more media-related projects I plan on releasing here, the first of which would be writing cumulative reviews, in which I would write about a film franchise as a whole, noting its progression and overall flow, and grant it a score based on the collective group.

After some time of this running smoothly, if I can prove my ability to keep this running to both myself and my audience, I will likely set up a Patreon, as movies are very, very expensive, but I will talk more about that, if it becomes relevant, in a future update.

Until then, thank you so much for your support, and enjoy the new review schedule starting this Tuesday with my review of War for the Planet of the Apes!

Baby Driver Review

Mad Max: The Musical.

baby-driver 1.jpg

Director: Edgar Wright

Distributor: TriStar Pictures

Rating: R

US Release: June 28, 2017

Edgar Wright has a pension for masterfully manipulating genres that are stale, boring, and simply shouldn’t work into modern classics that prove some of the best movies tackling whatever genre in which they reside. From Hot Fuzz, a buddy cop movie released far after the genre’s prime time for parody yet still proving a hilarious new take on old tropes, to Shaun of the Dead, which not only proved a more exciting and fantastic piece but satirized even more tired genres in zombie and slacker movies, to Scott Pilgrim vs the World, a romantic comedy action video game comic book movie starring Michael Cera that had no right whatsoever to be good but is now one of Wright’s most successful works. Such is the case with Baby Driver, a car chase action movie with a great soundtrack, ostensibly Guardians of the Galaxy but with cars instead of spaceships, starring a disillusioned youth in love trying to turn a new leaf against a big bad he once served. Despite treading this familiar path, Wright’s new movie proves utterly phenomenal, so much so that I fear I will have far too little to say simply from a lack of synonyms for supremely awesome and entirely breathtaking.

Rarely does a movie have me actively hollering, tensing up, laughing out loud, and gritting my teeth, so engaged in its action that I forget where or who I am and am subject to the same experiences as the characters I observe, but from the opening seconds of this piece, the audience is enthralled with the rhythmic precision Wright presents to us. The premise is straightforward and immediately obvious, as we open on a bank heist for which our protagonist, Baby, played with a nuance I never could have expected from Ansel Elgort after his mediocrity in The Fault in our Stars, who is working for criminal mastermind Kevin Spacey, who doesn’t so much act as he does, as he has so many times before, command attention and respect, who plays the character Doc. Baby, however, was in an accident when he was younger which both killed his parents and gave him tinnitus, a ringing he combats by constantly playing music both for himself and the audience. As it sounds, there is something off about Baby, although the film never expressly tells us what it is. Rather, Elgort, in a performance with subtlety that is impossible to be understated, acts both unsettling and frightened, off putting and intimidating yet childlike and traumatized, providing both an emotionally intense character and a blank slate for other performances, almost all of which are showstopping, to project onto throughout the film. From here we are treated to one of the best opening acts in cinematic history. From the way Baby sings along in his car to the way he moves the windshield wipers and, when the robbery has been completed, the car, to get away, Wright has captured a unique precision and rhythm, forcing the audience to both cling to the edge of their seat in exhilaration and tap their foot to the masterfully timed tunes.

baby-driver 2.jpg

The action is impeccable. From this first getaway scene, Wright shows off his tight and cohesive cuts that make it easy and fun for the audience to follow the action, a trend throughout the film that is increasingly rare in Hollywood action flicks. Jonathan Amos and Paul Machliss, the film’s editors, did a phenomenal job of keeping our eyes moving in tandem with the beat of the music, just as everything on the screen, from brakes screeching to gunshots, do. In this way, the movie’s soundtrack, which could easily have been a clusterfuck of recognizable tunes hoping to bank on cheap nostalgia (looking at you, Suicide Squad), transforms the film into a pseudo-musical, where everything on screen is enhanced by the beat and the recognizable music, more in line with Breaking Bad or Rick and Morty‘s use of licensed tracks.

Even after the chase scene ends, the rhythmic power continues in every shot by Wright. In a particularly impressive tracking shot, Baby walks down the street singing his song and avoiding police on his way to get coffee for the crew, and not only do his movements match the lyrics perfectly, but the environment changes to match them. From writing on the wall to offhanded lines by extras, everything works to the beat of a massively musical production. Wright even compensates for a lack of movement, as when the crew is debriefing after the heist, the twist of coffee mugs and tapping of fingers all add to the beautifully orchestrated duo of music and performances.

After the debriefing, we are introduced to the central conflict of the film. Baby doesn’t want to be in this life of crime, but, after stealing a car many years ago from Doc, he is forced to repay his debt, and is only one job away from being straight. From here, Baby goes home and introduces us to his immensely charming deaf foster father, who is weary and disapproving of his career, and we are shown how Baby records conversations to remix them into original beats…all of this, keep in mind, synching perfectly with a driving and recognizable soundtrack. We are also introduced to the mysterious diner employee, Debora, a manic pixie dream girl played as well as the old trope can be played by Lilly James, who serves as Baby’s love interest.

During the next heist, Baby runs into some real trouble when we meet Jaime Foxx’s Bats, a criminal so insane and spine chillingly evil that only Foxx could bring such vibrant life and realism to him. After a hilarious misunderstanding resulting in the new crew wearing Mike Meyers (international man of mystery) masks instead of Mike Meyers (the Halloween killer) masks during their heist, we are treated to another getaway scene, this one not going as smoothly and showing Wright’s superb ability to build tension. Baby also shows his soft side, giving the baby in the backseat of a car they steal to the mother from which they steal it and preventing Foxx from murdering their pursuer, prompting Foxx to grow weary of his allegiances.

Baby Driver 3.jpg

After a particularly heinous cleanup job from Foxx’s character, Baby is set free of his position as driver, and returns home to pursue Debora. Here, however, the movie, for its first time, falls flat. Leaving the action of the first act behind and not yet at the climactic third, the second act stumbles over a loss of the incredible rhythm Wright has shown he is capable of. In addition to presenting this small collection of scenes as rather uninteresting and completely usual, this also makes Debora a less endearing character than her initial introduction, as the musical power has died down with the action, adding to a severe character flaw that turns her manic and romantic dreams into questionable shortsightedness and a bizarre devotion to Baby that impedes upon a genuine feeling in the film’s ending. Doc soon returns to remedy this however, as we get our first horrifying glimpse into what the criminals with which Baby associates are capable of and he insists Baby return to steal a collection of money orders from the post office as his big final heist. This gets in the way of the romantic fantasy Debora introduces, of herself and Baby driving off into the sunset in a car they can’t afford with a plan they don’t have…a sentiment that, despite its cheesiness, still gives me romantic chills just repeating.

Casing the joint the next day, the movie features some clunky PSVita product placement and shows us a kindhearted woman working there for whom Baby fears. Soon thereafter, the movie picks up again, and from here on does not stop, as Baby meets the third crew, featuring Bats and two of the first team we were introduced to, Jon Hamm’s Buddy and his wife, Darling, played by Eiza González, a severely underrated actress. Buddy demonstrates affection here for Baby, something few have offered him, which again prompts Bats’s scorn, as he proclaims the second you catch feelings to be the second you catch a bullet.

The team heads to a wear house to acquire arms for the next day, only for Bats to note the crates are marked as police firearms, causing him to initiate a massive firefight that, again, matches perfectly to Baby’s IPod’s backing. Baby, however, is finished with the criminals after seeing the massacre, and as he sulks while driving back, Bats insists they stop in a diner…the same one where Debora works. This begins one of the most tense scenes, as Baby desperately tries to communicate his situation to Debora and, as he leaves, slips her a note declaring that night to be the one on which they make their escape. This scene demonstrates elegantly the power of the remarkable cast, as Foxx makes even the audience fear for their lives, Hamm and González show off their characters’ duality, and Elgort, along with James, demonstrate a strong chemistry through subtle looks and unspoken connection.

When the crew returns to the hideout, the third act really kicks into high gear, as Baby attempts to sneak away to Debora in the night and is caught by Bats and Buddy, Hamm finally getting a chance to show he can compete with Foxx for convincingly horrifying insanity. Horrified of them realizing his relation to Debora and killing her, Baby tries to lie his way out of the situation, but Bats reveals he found Baby’s tape recorder and believes him to be a cop, providing fantastic payoff for the odd quirk set up earlier. When Baby reveals what he really does with the recordings, the crew ransacks his home and steals his tapes, recognizing Debora’s name on one of them and threatening her life if Baby doesn’t go through with the plan the next day.

At the post office, Baby signals to the woman he met the day before, causing the police to be suspicious, and he drives the getaway car into a truck with rebar hanging off of the back, killing Bats as it slams through the windshield. Now, Darling and Buddy are in a shootout with the police as Baby runs away from Darling and Buddy who are also after him.

Baby driver final.jpg

What follows is the most exciting chase sequence since Mad Max: Fury Road, wherein most of the characters we have come to know die, plot points are resolved, romances end and blossom, and there are just enough down moments to grant the intense action grand effect, all to the music provided by Baby. The incredible choreography comes back for this final act, which I wouldn’t dare spoil, for the tension, performances, and action are too good to risk even one person missing after finding out what happens. It is important to state, however, that the explosive conclusion and all of the parkour, gunfights, and driving preceding it, all appear to be practical effects, as the limited cgi blends seamlessly with breathtakingly coordinated blocking and tangible lights, sound, and scenery, serving to even further entrench the audience in the fiction of the world. Furthermore, where the second act’s lack of musical coordination was jarring and disorienting, the twists that cut music out of certain parts in the third act serve to make loss and tense scenes amplified in their emotional weight.

The ending is the second and only other aspect of the movie that does not live up to the precedent set by most of the feature. Surrendering himself to the law after an epic confrontation with and escape from the many sides trying to kill him, Baby saves Debora but ends up in prison. Now, I have no problem with a downer ending, but Baby Driver doesn’t fully commit, as Debora sends him postcards in jail, we see character witnesses from throughout the film declaring his good intentions, and we see Debora waiting for him upon his release in a not-quite-real-but-maybe-it-is final shot, despite his sentence being 25 years with only the chance for parole after 5, an awkwardly convoluted possibility hindered further by the stunted development of Debora in the second act where she was demonstrated to be impulsive and little else. It’s a confusing, watered down, and rushed conclusion, which leaves the audience discontent, a devastating shame considering how high this movie’s highs are, with even the credits rocking out to the incredible soundtrack and only lasting a refreshingly few minutes.

Baby Driver is undeniably the best movie I’ve seen in 2017 so far and an absolute must see. I had downed an entire large popcorn by the end of the 1st act as I lost myself in the exceptionally pleasing adventure that sprawled out before me. From over the top action to genuinely touching romance to laugh out loud comedy, Edgar Wright assures that everything good in this movie goes above and beyond to absolutely great. Unfortunately, I can’t help but feel that somewhere down the production line, the people working on this film didn’t quite understand its potential, as a slight script revision could have easily fixed the ending’s pace and the second act lull. Overall, though, Baby Driver is everything you could ask for from a summer action movie, supremely better than the straightforward premise could ever suggest, and is the greatest musical to ever give  The Fast and the Furious franchise a run for its car-based action’s money.

8/10

Great

Wonder Woman Review

Breaking her teeth on the glass ceiling.

wonder woman image 1

Director: Patty Jenkins

Distributor: Warner Bros.

Rating: PG-13

US Release: June 2, 2017

It’s difficult to review any film with as massive a cultural impact as Wonder Woman. The fact is, for 76 years, Wonder Woman has been not only a feminist icon (disregarding a certain period around 1968 in the comics), but the most empowering and impressive example of a strong, capable woman on the stage of hyper masculine dudes in spandex that holds the comic book movie genre. The fact alone that, prior to this film, the only female led superhero movies were Halle Berry’s Catwoman and Jennifer Garner’s Elektra  means Wonder Woman is in an exclusive club from the outset. However, it has more in common with these movies than many think.

Wonder Woman is not a good movie. In fact, it is a notably bad movie, plagued with cringe-inducing dialogue, bad performances, undefined characters, and all manner of problems that have become staples in DC’s cinematic attempt to combat its chief rival, Marvel. Despite a charming 2nd act respite featuring some genuinely endearing fish-out-of-water sequences with Gal Gadot’s titular hero in 1918 London, the film struggles to figure out what it is, sputtering from one hastily cut action sequence to the next and, ultimately, falling flat.

From the beginning, a slow pan in on the globe to Paris featuring uninspired voice over narration pondering the goodness of men from Gadot, the film sets the tone for dragging, exposition heavy scenes that prove prominent in the first hour or so of the film. While Gadot plays a modern day Diana Prince in the first few minutes of the film, collecting relics from her past in the aforementioned Paris, we soon travel to her past through another slow zoom onto the original copy of the old photo of her from Batman v Superman.

Once the film’s actual plot begins, we are transported back to Themyscira, an island of only women all with slightly different fake accents, a problem that purveys with Chris Pine’s American Englishman, that is hidden from the world of men, and dished out a heavy dose of animated exposition in the form of a bedtime story from Prince’s mother, queen of the Amazons, Hippolyta. Here, Connie Nielsen’s character sets up Ares, the main antagonist, and hints at Diana being the daughter of herself and Zeus. Hippolyta tries to hold some presence in the story as an obstacle for Diana, as she does not want her daughter to be trained as a warrior like the other women of the island, but this is almost immediately forgotten as we quickly transition to an adult Diana fully trained by Robin Wright’s Antiope, Diana’s aunt and war hero of the Amazons.

Soon thereafter, Chris Pine’s Steve Trevor appears literally out of a hole in the sky and  crashes his plane into the sea surrounding Themyscira, pursued by German battleships. After a short scene of forced flirtation between Steve and his rescuer Diana, the island is attacked by his followers, resulting in our first battle sequence that kills off the only character not already stale, Antiope. From here, Steve is interrogated, reveals he was a British spy and that he’s trying to stop the war, and takes a bath for a gratuitous nude scene with Gadot filled with off-putting penis jokes and a standout performance from Pine’s abs. If all of this sounds a little rushed, it’s because it is. Suffering, somehow, from the same pacing as Suicide Squad, despite only starring one hero, the intro to Wonder Woman rushes past, with deaths and romances appearing out of no where and no time left to provide any weight to anything involving the Amazonians or explain the myths that provide their sudden appearance in the DC movie mythos.

wonder woman 2

Agreeing to leave Themyscria with Pine to defeat Ares, with little resistance from the, again, ineffectual Hippolyta, the two sail, a sequence with even more uncomfortable flirtation, to London, presenting us with the only genuinely enjoyable part of the film. Despite the unfunny and awkward performance of Etta Candy by Lucy Davis, a comic relief character as blatantly incongruous with the rest of the film as Jar Jar Binks was in the Star Wars prequels, Gadot’s unsure performance pays off as she struggles to fit in not only to her written lines but with the society presented by the film. While much of the intended comedy falls flat, the awkward delivery of lines and a particularly odd dress-up scene proves enough to at least inject the film with a much needed midpoint of levity. The costumes, in fact, prove one of the crowning achievements of the film, as Suicide Squad proved they just give the costume design Oscar away and DC seems keen to bank on this fact. Again, however, the delivery in this sequence of scenes, which introduces David Thewlis’s Sir Patrick Morgan in a Scooby-Doo like fashion for the third act attempt at a twist, highlights the film’s biggest problem; despite having an overall impressive ensemble cast, the performances are utterly atrocious. Pine’s superficially charming Trevor stumbles over predictable and lazy one-liners, Davis’s bumbling Candy is boring in her by-the-books sassiness, and Thewlis’s fake-out good guy Morgan is stale and well below what he is capable of. Gadot herself, as previewed in Dawn of Justice, relies heavily on cute smirks reminiscent of Jim Halpert and dips in the dialogue where, in any competent production, the viewer could insert their own emotional interpretation, but here they seem only like Pine and Gadot forgot their lines and opted to joke around after only knowing each other for a few minutes and not quite knowing what would make the other laugh. Even the more empowering scenes, like a notable alley rescue, are undercut by confused direction in the script, where, despite the toted progressiveness of the feature, characters can’t stop remarking on how “distracting” and hot Gadot is…a jarring trend throughout.

wonder woman 3

Nowhere, however, does Wonder Woman demonstrate its faulty dialogue and embarrassing incompetence in its performances more than with Danny Huston’s unimposing, laughable, cartoonishly villainous General Ludendorff and the unforgivably, plain-and-simple bad Elena Anaya as Doctor Poison. This should come as no surprise, to some degree. When put together, from Room in Rome, (Anaya’s performative attempt at a provocative love story between two gay women that proved more pornagraphic than artistic), to Huston’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine, (a movie so bad that it killed beloved character Deadpool’s chances in cinema until Ryan Reynolds put his reputation on the line to revive them), the two have proven a copious amount of times that no matter the competence of the production in which they play their part, they will inevitably drag it down; and Wonder Woman is not a competent production.

Their plan is simple (Zach Snyder and the Warner Bros. team are not capable of producing genuine complexity in their films anyways); create a new strain of Mustard Gas that replaces sulfur with hydrogen, rendering gas masks unusable. Beyond this somewhat interesting premise, the pair of antagonists have so much shit between them it is difficult to determine where to begin. Much like Hippolyta, Ludendorff is introduced with a set of characteristics that quickly vanish. When Trevor steals the notebook of Dr. Poison before arriving on Themyscira, in a sequence showing both his incompetence as a spy and the films confusion as to what a spy is, the movie seems to be utilizing Huston’s lack of screen presence and doughy body shape to prove an insecure and therefor angry and warmongering villain. However, in the same scene, as with Hippolyta, Ludendorff’s characterization is cast aside and, after inhaling some super serum-esque gas provided by Poison, his face starts to glow and, with the face of a constipated seizure, he gains super strength and the cartoonish characteristics of Boris, while Poison follows suit as his Natasha.

Wonder woman 5Wonder woman 4.jpg

When their plan to utilize the new deadly gas is rejected by German higher-ups, the two lock them in a room and release the gas, throwing in one gas mask and cackling in what is the single most egregious example of cartoon supervilliany in any movie attempting to be taken seriously, a painful to watch moment that holds only the merit of being the only distinctive moment in the near two-and-a-half hour slog that is Wonder Woman.

Reading the ingenious secret plan to “gas the front line”, Pine and Gadot, who have been denied assistance from the army, travel to recruit a rag-tag team of underdeveloped misfits from Pine’s past, each representing a unique stereotype and filling a trope we have, to some degree, seen a million times before. A skeevy, David Spade-esque lover, a drunken scotsman, and a swindling Indian, all of whom seem to serve no purpose towards any legitimate plot development and only work towards some cheap emotional manipulation later in the film. Without any real trouble, the group manages to reach No Mans Land, with Jenkins demonstrating, as she does throughout the film, a lack in understanding of pacing or the script, desperate to reach some engagement through the next set piece. Here, two of the biggest problems, after the villains, are accentuated; the effects and the sound (most of what makes up an action movie).

First, the effects. Throughout the movie, first visible on Diana’s home island where the backgrounds look no better than a painted soundstage and the forefront action could be a flash animation from the early days of YouTube. In the trench sequence, and a subsequent battle in the village occupied by Germans the team liberates, it is painfully obvious that the budgeting for this film was significantly lower than its contemporaries. Where other riskier projects like Deadpool chose to embrace their limitations and cleverly manipulate a smaller budget, Wonder Woman smashes buildings and deflects bullets just like her male counterparts, but looks a lot worse doing it.

Well, I should clarify. Gadot herself at no point looks bad in the film. In fact, one of its biggest flaws is focusing way to much on slow-motion beauty shots reminiscent of Baywatch as Gadot moves in tandem with an incredibly tone deaf and inappropriate soundtrack instead of on the action, which itself is hastily cut and unfocused. This slow motion plagues even the down moments of the film, and Jenkins’s time scaling bites her in the ass with noticeable frame rate discrepancy and random use of time scaling techniques to rival even Snyder.

The music, as mentioned, is incredibly misused, as DC has chosen, for some confounding purpose, to replace the incredibly powerful duo of Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL that debuted in Dawn of Justice, and gifted Wonder Woman with her electric cello based theme, with Rupert Gregson-Williams, whose style seems ripped from any number of mid-2000’s Lord of the Ring’s cash-in copies and does not mix at all with the romantic, time period comedy tone Jenkins primarily focuses on. In the action scenes, where this style would make some sense, it is replaced with the aforementioned theme, overplayed and yet underutilized as Gregson-Williams seems to misinterpret completely what made the music so great. This is not helped by disturbingly bad sound mixing, an increasingly overlooked part of movie production, which renders dialogue loud, backing music louder, and punches and explosions dull and blurred together to the point of lulling white noise.

Wonder Woman 6

An action scene like this one highlights the tonal dissonance the music fails to compensate for. Starting as a period drama, moving to a romantic comedy, shifting to an action movie, and then briefly touching on a castrated, PG-13 rendition of darker war movies like Saving Private Ryan, Jenkins seems desperate to please with a little of everything and fails to succeed to any meaningful degree with anything.

After the assault on the village we are treated to another tonally inconsistent segment, wherein another cartoonish trope occurs, after the group gathers together for a gratuitously self referential taking of the photo introduced in Dawn of Justice. Our drunken scotsman plays piano and begins to sing, which, we are told and not shown, he has not done in years and we should be very moved over, and a snowfall comes out of nowhere so that Gadot and Pine can, holding each other with the kind of lack of romance and genuine chemistry only a cynical cash in like this film can produce, finally kiss.

From here, the movie shifts to a comical heist, wherein Pine disguises himself as an over exaggerated German official to gain access to a gathering with Ludendorff and Poison, and Gadot inexplicably appears in a highly conspicuous blue dress…the movie again taking spectacle in moments over any cohesive story telling. This scene bears mentioning primarily to discuss a particularly painful segment wherein Pine flirts with Poison, demonstrating Anaya’s utter incompetence in portraying the character and inducing excruciating cringes from any who care to expect more from a Hollywood actress. Gadot’s confrontation with Ludendorff, an awkward dance that gives some mild payoff for the dancing in the snow earlier, is just as awkward and demonstrative of Huston’s ineffectual performance, but comes nowhere near the agonizing ineptitude of Anaya.

Finally, after a failed attempt at a dramatic gas bombing slow motion drama sequence that cannot muster any response through its censored corpses and vague orange filter to represent the weapon, our protagonist team storms the proverbial castle for a final confrontation. Quickly dispatching Ludendorff we are, unsurprisingly, shown that he was not, in fact, Ares, but instead of providing an interesting or new take by revealing the god of war to be Dr. Poison (who disappears around this point in order to, presumably, use her power gas to set up Bane in a later franchise film), Thewlis’s Sir Patrick Morgan, seemingly out of nowhere, appears and, igniting his fist with what looks like the free lightening effect in Adobe Premier for Students, reveals himself a double agent looking to promote the war and, ultimately, the god thereof. From here, Thewlis’s character flies into the sky and we are forced to sit through the inevitable final battle of smoke and lightening that plagues so many of the less impressive superhero movies of late. Notably, when Thewlis goes into his final form, the effects become even more of a cluster fuck, and the action is nigh impossible to follow or care about, rendering Steve Trevor’s death largely ineffectual…a continuing trend as Ares is defeated and war supposedly lifted from the world.

As the light breaks through in the past, the camera pans in on Gadot’s always-cheekily-smiling face, and we flash once again to the present for a 4th voice over monologue before the credits role, we, the audience, are left wondering how every other major conflict occurred past this one if, indeed, Ares was defeated…a question largely ignored by the film.

Ultimately, there is some enjoyment to be found in Wonder Woman, though it largely is rendered from awkward performances and such service to the tropes of the genre that one has to laugh. Overall, however, it does absolutely nothing to rise above the worst of its peers, and Jenkins misses what could have been a home run for progressivism and the DC cinematic universe through aimless direction around a cringe-worthy script full of cheesy one-liners and monologues in almost every scene performed by actors who fail to bring any life to most of the poorly written lines. It isn’t the worst action movie out there – it’s probably not even the worst we’ll see this summer. But as far as being a milestone for womankind, Wonder Woman is more of a stumble back than any kind of giant leap into the future.

2/10

Bad

Review Score Guide

Waternoose

Hello, everyone! Welcome to my personal space! The main thing you can expect here is movie reviews, because I love movies and I have an awful lot of thoughts on them. After writing those thoughts, you will find a number summarizing those thoughts as best as I think can be numerically done. If you choose to, you are welcome to ignore this number, as you’re welcome to hold your own opinion and, as long as you’re in my personal space, the writing before it will typically be more important.

Something that has always bothered me about the way most outlets review movies (and media in general) is how they typically rest the majority of their scores in the higher range of 7 to 10, leaving lower numbers only to the worst of the worst. Such is not the case on Personal Space with Liam; I will try my hardest to run the full gambit of numbers, 0 to 10, with every number meaning something distinctly different and holding its own value. I won’t be using decimals or fractions of points in between, if only because the numbers are meant to summarize my writing on the film, not create more wiggle room or confusion.

Anyways, onto what the scores actually mean! (Two examples of each rating are included in parenthesis after the explanation of the score)

10 (Perfect) – A 10 measures out to be practically perfect in every way, the ultimate example of whatever type of film it is trying to be at the time it is it. Granted, nothing in life is utterly unflawed, but a 10 will come as close to ideal as it is possible to get. This score isn’t given lightly, as it generally serves as the pinnacle of its kind and, while another movie may eventually best it, it serves as the medium’s contemporary zenith. (Monsters Inc., Mad Max: Fury Road)

9 (Amazing) – A 9 is damn near perfect, exemplifying excellence in almost every area and providing a fantastic viewing experience throughout. If you think anything I’ve given a 9 deserves a 10, you’re well within your right. While there may be a few problems, they are mostly negligible, and could be as simple as not doing enough of a great thing, or having just a few aspects that would bother nobody but me. While not the best of the best, this film is an exemplary member of its genre and does almost everything right in a significantly marvelous way. (Swiss Army Man, Ex Machina)

8 (Great) – An 8 represents the beginning of the upper epsilon of films. While almost undeniably imperfect, it is hindered by nothing, short of superficial blemishes, and will provide an overwhelmingly enjoyable experience for the majority of people. (Hunt for the Wilderpeople, The Dark Knight)

7 (Good) – A 7 is not perfect, and shouldn’t be argued to be so. Rather, it offers a fun, enjoyable experience that, while welcomed by most and loved by many, must be appreciated despite being imperfect and not quite polished to the degree of a higher score. (Green Room, Fargo)

6 (Solid) – A 6 is far from bad, but a definite step down from great. These easily acceptable movies put in the hours and provide a largely inoffensive viewing experience that most people will enjoy at least most of the time. (Captain America: Civil War, No Country for Old Men)

5 (Mediocre) – A 5 exists to provide the scale with a neutral point. Neither fully good nor fully bad, this middle of the road point does very little to stand out and while it won’t ruin your day, it won’t do anything to make it remarkably better either. It serves, overall, as the very definition of OK. (Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, Invictus)

4 (Decent) – A 4 is the beginning of the below average films. Overall an inferior experience, it does little to offend or disgust, and tends to stagnate just below passible, supported by a few scenes or moments of genuinely impressive or enjoyable feats but weighed down by a notable amount of issues. (Man of Steel, Alvin and the Chipmunks)

3 (Poor) – A 3 is a significantly not good movie. While at some points it may have some potential, overall bad acting, editing, pacing, design, effects, or any number of other flaws or combination thereof assures that, while occasionally managing to be interesting, it rarely proves to be anything more than the best of the worst. (Split, Grown Ups)

2 (Bad) – A 2 represents a straight up bad film. While the truly desperate may be able to salvage some semblance of enjoyment, this overall disaster gives its viewers a largely miserable experience plagued by generally abhorrent performances and production. (Wonder Woman, Flawless)

1 (Atrocious) – A 1 is more than just a bad movie. It is offensive in its awfulness. Almost unwatchable and painful to sit through the full run time of, it is an example of sheer dreck that insults the senses and the sensibilities of the viewer. Perhaps somebody on the production team put in their due diligence, but any signs of integrity or respect for the craft of filmmaking are lost to the otherwise indefensibly and undeniably vile piece. (Transformers: Age of Extinction, Neon Demon)

0 (Suicide Squad) – At 0, any meager potential for a good time has been lost to the rage inducing, near-indefinable mess oozed out by whatever scum would deem it acceptable to tarnish the very medium of film with such morally bankrupt, irredeemable trash. (Suicide Squad, Romeo + Juliet (1996))

So, that’s how scores work! Thanks for taking the time to read and understand folks, and I hope you stick around my personal space for a while and enjoy your day!